If you’re in Bristol over the coming months, you can rest assured that should you be caught up in a zombie attack, the city has a plan…Bristol city council has issued a document detailing information as to how to survive should the city be overrun with these living corpses.
Why was it issued?
Bristol city council set out the advice as a response to a Freedom of Information request. Being a responsible council, they then put together a document entitled “How to cope with the living dead.”
Four states of alert.
The levels of alert in the city are Ambient, Enhanced Activity, Major Outbreak and Pandemic. This is the state that the population fears the most – when 30% of the population turn into zombies.
The correct zombie-killing procedure is as follows.
1. Fully disconnect the brain stem from the body by decapitation.
2. Avoid all unprotected contact.
3. Do not approach unless adequately armed. Zombies are extremely aggressive.
Bristol is known by locals to have a bit of a zombie problem, usually in the month of May. This is when the streets are overrun with these creatures and it is this that prompted the request for information. May is when the annual IGfest takes place. Interesting Games (IG) are played out on the street, including the popular ‘2.8hrs Later’ game, in which participants attempt to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. Bristol council has explained that this is really an undercover operation for council workers to train in preparation for an attack.
The council haven’t stopped there. Recognising that zombie fighting skills are highly prized in the Bristol area, the council have also stated that fully trained ‘zombie staff’ may also be used for other duties, such as containing outbreaks of pirating or for spotting the difference between unidentified flying objects and hot air balloons.
Residents and visitors alike can rest safe in the knowledge that this is one council that will not be taken by surprise!